Todays date is 09/09/09. Apparently the world ends today. Like it did in 06/06/06. I wish the world would stop ending. Eventually it will and some amateur Nostradamus will be like, "HEY I PREDICTED THIS...YESSSSSS!" Anyway, all day today there is something going on at www.thenines.leadnet.org where church leaders from all over the country have prepared a 9 minute sermon that stream back to back from the site all day. Pastor Troy Gamling of Flamingo Road Church in Ft. Lauderdale is the opener.
Oh and its free so check it out...
I think that this whole idea is a BIG mistake. Every church member in the history of the world agrees that their pastor takes WAY too long on a Sunday morning. And now thanks to thenines the question, "Just how much time does my pastor eat out of my weekend unnecessarily," has been answered. The Cat Is Out Of The Bag. This website/experiment has just proven that every sermon that has ever been preached only contains 9 minutes of relevant information. The other 2 or 3 hours is a pastors attempt to vindicate the necessity of going to church. Scraping yourself out of bed, wrestling the kids into their sunday attire, redlining the minivan the entire way to church, dealing with the overly excitable and WAY too caffeinated morning greeters, drinking leftover luke warm coffee and the dry donuts that no one in the world likes but has become a church staple, being scorned by congregants as you try, unsuccessfully, to slip into the back row only to be called out minutes later because one of your children went all, "Lord of The Flies," in the nursery. NOW imagine going through all of that for a 9 minute sermon, 7 minutes of which you already missed.
Based on the 70 speakers that will be presenting 9 minute sermons online today you can basically get an entire years worth of sermon listening done by 7pm tonight!
I predict to have lost my job by November.
Thanks Guys.
1 comments:
Perhaps it's because I have a twisted sense of humor--a sick puppy kind of thing--but I got a kick out of your highly detailed definition of the stereotypical Protestant pastor in the U.S.
Fortunately, Life Church's pastors don't fit in that category, but I heartily agree that around our nation are legions of Poor Souls who stretch 9 minutes into 30-45-60-90? minutes to justify the effort of getting up. (Loved that line about the kid going "Lord of the Flies" in the nursery. It happens.)
Your job is safe. You were simply speaking truth that others are too politically correct to articulate.
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